All over the news, they were announcing our impending doom as Hurricane Rita sped through the Gulf, headed straight for Houston, Texas. At the time, the entire City of Houston was still dealing with the fresh aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. City officials had to deal with the influx of victims to stadiums, hospitals, hotels, and other places within the city and surrounding areas. Just the previous week, Goldie and I had driven my cousin to College Station where she met her daughter. The daughter had managed to secure some temporary housing at Texas A&M. The two were separated after a dramatic helicopter rescue that pulled them off a rooftop upon which they had been stranded for three days. After a week of trying to find each other and another couple weeks of separation, it was my pleasure to help them to be reunited.
With the memories of Hurricane Katrina still fresh in our minds and the news reports stating that the eye of the hurricane was heading straight for my area, the entire city was in a panic. This was a time where the nation, as a whole, found out just how unprepared we were for major disasters. My anxiety level was very high, and I remember having a constant nervousness about me. I really couldn’t afford to evacuate anywhere, because I didn’t have money for gas to make it out of town and back. Where would we go? With no money, Goldie and I were staying with one of my friends until that friend decided to break ranks and evacuate to Dallas. This left us with no place to go except my parents’ house, because the power at my house was off, and I was actually afraid to be stranded in the house during the storm.
My mother had sworn off any kind of evacuation. I thought she was a little naive, but in retrospect, I don’t blame her, since her house is built to withstand Hurricane-force winds. It turns out that the entire evacuation process was a disaster in and of itself. Most gas stations ran out of gas, because so many people filled up for the long drive to Dallas, Austin, or any place away from the Gulf. The highways were overcrowded and backed up with outbound traffic, so no gas trucks could even make it to the gas stations to resupply them. People were being stranded on the highways, because they sat in their cars for hours barely moving more than a few miles. Some of my friends reported back to me that it took them up to thirteen hours to drive to Dallas, normally a four hour trip. What’s more, the grocery stores were rationing out items and only allowing a certain number of customers in the stores at a time. There was even a report of a bus-full of elderly passengers in which some of them died after the bus caught on fire. The entire experience was madness and chaos.
For me, the hurricane was an excuse and a lie. It was an excuse to leave my home with no power and have some alternative without letting anyone know what was going on. I had paid the power bill and the reconnection fee, but the power company told me that it could take up to 48 business hours before they would restore service. Since that was on a Friday afternoon, it might be as late as the following Tuesday before power would be restored. It was one thing to be going through this situation without telling people how I was suffering or what was going on with me privately, but then there was Goldie. He was with me, standing by my side, following me everywhere I went. I was constantly making a way out of no way. First, I secured a place to stay with a friend and then with my parents, but the truth was that he was completely useless and had no place to go himself. His own mother lived in Houston, yet she would not let him stay with her. I should have taken note of this, but I just believed his excuse rather than thinking of the deeper meaning behind it all.
I didn’t even bother to think about what it really meant that he would be standing by my side perpetrating this lie to everyone with me. Of course he wasn’t going to tell people what was really going on, because it would make him look bad. I, at least, had an excuse for not working, since people were aware of the effort I was making to establish my own business.
After the storm passed, the power was out in many places around the city, so it gave me a little more time to lie and say that the power was still out in my neighborhood. When Tuesday came around, we finally were able to go back to my house. I think my mom was a little suspicious, but she never said anything. I think the experience made Goldie wake up and realized how serious things were. First, I’m sure he had to recognize the lengths that I went through just to make sure he was ok. In the past, the people that he had been involved with probably would have told him that he needed to find a place to go for the storm, because he couldn’t come with them. He also realized that I really did have bills to pay, and if we were going to continue on this path, he was going to have to contribute in a real way. With that in mind, he found a job as a waiter at IHOP by the end of the week.
I thought him having a job, even if it was at IHOP, was a good thing, but it turned out that this was the beginning of the end.
Now that things were a little more stable (in comparison to the way things had been), and now that Goldie was bringing home a semi-steady income, things started going back to the way they used to be. That’s not to say that our relationship got any stronger. It only means that Goldie started reverting back to his old self. We were seeing more of Kaila, Shiloh, and June again, but now there were new people added to the mix. At his last job, Goldie had befriended a young lady who he now started to invite over on a more regular basis. She, in turn, would invite one of her friends to come with her. All of a sudden, my house seemed to be the party house, and there were all types of strange characters that I did not know. True to form, “Becky” was in attendance as well. These gatherings became late night events, where Goldie would have people over well into the early morning hours. Strangely enough, Shiloh and Kaila’s girlfriend June would come together without Kaila.
From time to time, I would ask about Kaila and what she was up to. June didn’t really want to speak much about her, but Shiloh told me the most interesting story as she listened along. At the time, he was living with her and her ten year-old daughter. He said that he was worried about her, because he thinks; no, he KNOWS she smokes crack. I had a look of astonishment on my face when I heard the news. I never would have even imagined something like this, and I was still having a hard time believing it. “Why would you even say something like that? How do you know? Have you seen her?” I berated them with questions, because I just couldn’t see my friend participating in such a horrible recreation.
“No, none of us have seen her actually do it,” Shiloh started out, “But, I was in her bathroom, and there is this box under the sink in the very back. I opened it, and I found a crack pipe and lighters. I know she smokes crack, because sometimes I see her, and she is so high, but she tries to pretend like she isn’t. I’m worried about her, because her daughter is there, and I know she has to know something. She gets into everything, and if she hasn’t found it already, she is going to.”
At that moment, my heart sank. I felt so bad for my friend, but I felt even worse for her daughter, because I knew she should not be in that type of environment. She was at a very young and impressionable age where she needed her mother to be a mother. I’m sure she could not be that when she was high on crack. As Shiloh recounted his story and all the different episodes, June sat by and nodded in agreement. She had been silent about it all for a long time, but then she added, “That girl is crazy! I don’t know why I even keep seeing her, but when that bitch is high, the sex is so good! She crazy though, I’m telling you. She likes to fight, and she is always starting shit.”
I was hearing this all for the first time, and could not believe my ears. This was not the same Kaila that I knew. I took a look around me; at the people in my house and what I had let my life become, and I just got really sad. Things seemed to happen so quickly. In a matter of seven months, I had gone from a very happy, single, young professional to having a boyfriend who was also a cokehead, there was weed all around me, my close friend turned out to be an undercover, functioning crackhead, I had no job, I was broke and struggling to make my business work. I felt even worse, because I wanted to talk to my friend about the example she was setting, but how could I be a hypocrite and criticize her about how she lived her life, when my own was in such disarray?
With the memories of Hurricane Katrina still fresh in our minds and the news reports stating that the eye of the hurricane was heading straight for my area, the entire city was in a panic. This was a time where the nation, as a whole, found out just how unprepared we were for major disasters. My anxiety level was very high, and I remember having a constant nervousness about me. I really couldn’t afford to evacuate anywhere, because I didn’t have money for gas to make it out of town and back. Where would we go? With no money, Goldie and I were staying with one of my friends until that friend decided to break ranks and evacuate to Dallas. This left us with no place to go except my parents’ house, because the power at my house was off, and I was actually afraid to be stranded in the house during the storm.
My mother had sworn off any kind of evacuation. I thought she was a little naive, but in retrospect, I don’t blame her, since her house is built to withstand Hurricane-force winds. It turns out that the entire evacuation process was a disaster in and of itself. Most gas stations ran out of gas, because so many people filled up for the long drive to Dallas, Austin, or any place away from the Gulf. The highways were overcrowded and backed up with outbound traffic, so no gas trucks could even make it to the gas stations to resupply them. People were being stranded on the highways, because they sat in their cars for hours barely moving more than a few miles. Some of my friends reported back to me that it took them up to thirteen hours to drive to Dallas, normally a four hour trip. What’s more, the grocery stores were rationing out items and only allowing a certain number of customers in the stores at a time. There was even a report of a bus-full of elderly passengers in which some of them died after the bus caught on fire. The entire experience was madness and chaos.
For me, the hurricane was an excuse and a lie. It was an excuse to leave my home with no power and have some alternative without letting anyone know what was going on. I had paid the power bill and the reconnection fee, but the power company told me that it could take up to 48 business hours before they would restore service. Since that was on a Friday afternoon, it might be as late as the following Tuesday before power would be restored. It was one thing to be going through this situation without telling people how I was suffering or what was going on with me privately, but then there was Goldie. He was with me, standing by my side, following me everywhere I went. I was constantly making a way out of no way. First, I secured a place to stay with a friend and then with my parents, but the truth was that he was completely useless and had no place to go himself. His own mother lived in Houston, yet she would not let him stay with her. I should have taken note of this, but I just believed his excuse rather than thinking of the deeper meaning behind it all.
I didn’t even bother to think about what it really meant that he would be standing by my side perpetrating this lie to everyone with me. Of course he wasn’t going to tell people what was really going on, because it would make him look bad. I, at least, had an excuse for not working, since people were aware of the effort I was making to establish my own business.
After the storm passed, the power was out in many places around the city, so it gave me a little more time to lie and say that the power was still out in my neighborhood. When Tuesday came around, we finally were able to go back to my house. I think my mom was a little suspicious, but she never said anything. I think the experience made Goldie wake up and realized how serious things were. First, I’m sure he had to recognize the lengths that I went through just to make sure he was ok. In the past, the people that he had been involved with probably would have told him that he needed to find a place to go for the storm, because he couldn’t come with them. He also realized that I really did have bills to pay, and if we were going to continue on this path, he was going to have to contribute in a real way. With that in mind, he found a job as a waiter at IHOP by the end of the week.
I thought him having a job, even if it was at IHOP, was a good thing, but it turned out that this was the beginning of the end.
Now that things were a little more stable (in comparison to the way things had been), and now that Goldie was bringing home a semi-steady income, things started going back to the way they used to be. That’s not to say that our relationship got any stronger. It only means that Goldie started reverting back to his old self. We were seeing more of Kaila, Shiloh, and June again, but now there were new people added to the mix. At his last job, Goldie had befriended a young lady who he now started to invite over on a more regular basis. She, in turn, would invite one of her friends to come with her. All of a sudden, my house seemed to be the party house, and there were all types of strange characters that I did not know. True to form, “Becky” was in attendance as well. These gatherings became late night events, where Goldie would have people over well into the early morning hours. Strangely enough, Shiloh and Kaila’s girlfriend June would come together without Kaila.
From time to time, I would ask about Kaila and what she was up to. June didn’t really want to speak much about her, but Shiloh told me the most interesting story as she listened along. At the time, he was living with her and her ten year-old daughter. He said that he was worried about her, because he thinks; no, he KNOWS she smokes crack. I had a look of astonishment on my face when I heard the news. I never would have even imagined something like this, and I was still having a hard time believing it. “Why would you even say something like that? How do you know? Have you seen her?” I berated them with questions, because I just couldn’t see my friend participating in such a horrible recreation.
“No, none of us have seen her actually do it,” Shiloh started out, “But, I was in her bathroom, and there is this box under the sink in the very back. I opened it, and I found a crack pipe and lighters. I know she smokes crack, because sometimes I see her, and she is so high, but she tries to pretend like she isn’t. I’m worried about her, because her daughter is there, and I know she has to know something. She gets into everything, and if she hasn’t found it already, she is going to.”
At that moment, my heart sank. I felt so bad for my friend, but I felt even worse for her daughter, because I knew she should not be in that type of environment. She was at a very young and impressionable age where she needed her mother to be a mother. I’m sure she could not be that when she was high on crack. As Shiloh recounted his story and all the different episodes, June sat by and nodded in agreement. She had been silent about it all for a long time, but then she added, “That girl is crazy! I don’t know why I even keep seeing her, but when that bitch is high, the sex is so good! She crazy though, I’m telling you. She likes to fight, and she is always starting shit.”
I was hearing this all for the first time, and could not believe my ears. This was not the same Kaila that I knew. I took a look around me; at the people in my house and what I had let my life become, and I just got really sad. Things seemed to happen so quickly. In a matter of seven months, I had gone from a very happy, single, young professional to having a boyfriend who was also a cokehead, there was weed all around me, my close friend turned out to be an undercover, functioning crackhead, I had no job, I was broke and struggling to make my business work. I felt even worse, because I wanted to talk to my friend about the example she was setting, but how could I be a hypocrite and criticize her about how she lived her life, when my own was in such disarray?
About a week later, Goldie had brought some of his club friends back with him to the house after the club had closed. It was around 3:30 AM, and we were in the living room hanging out when all of a sudden; we heard this beating on the door. Everyone froze. My heart thumping out of my chest, it had to be the police, but for what reason, I could not imagine. The beating came again, this time, more ferociously, so I slowly rose and nervously walked to the door. When I looked out the peep hole, I saw June standing there, so I quickly opened it. She burst in, and we both started talking at once, “BITCH! Are you crazy? We thought you were the cops! Why didn’t you just ring the doorbell?
“I told you that bitch is crazy!” She ranted. “I had to get out of there! That ‘hoe was high, and we got in a fight. I knocked over her TV. It was an accident, but it’s smashed now, and she called the police. I got a traffic warrant, so I had to get out of there. Do you think I can stay here for the night?”
As I’m sure you have already guessed, I have never been the kind to turn someone away in their time of need, and June was no exception. However, I had to clear it with Goldie, since this was his living space also. He agreed, and she slept in the guest room. This night was one moment in time where I distinctly remember making a decision that would change my life. The next morning, when June awoke, she came to me and asked if she could use my garage temporarily to store some of her things. She said she needed to go to Kaila’s to pick up the rest of her stuff, before she threw it out. June was done with the relationship, and needed to get out of there. I agreed, since I had extra space. For some reason, I thought she might have a couple boxes, or maybe some clothes. When she returned, she brought all types of things; boxes, clothes, and FURNITURE.
When I saw all the stuff she had, I asked her, “Girl, what is all this? I thought you just had a few things you needed to get.”
“Well, while I was getting my stuff at Kaila’s, I stopped by my ex’s place to get my chair. I love this chair.” She was referring to an old, dusty, beat-up recliner that she unloaded from the back of her truck. “I wanted to make a proposition to you. I know things are a little tight with you and Goldie right now, so I wanted to offer to rent your extra room for a few weeks while I find a place. What do you think?”
“What I think? Well, it looks like you’re already here!” She really put me on the spot to make a decision, but moreover, I really had to consider her offer. I had no income aside from my savings and the small unemployment that I was getting, and Goldie had very little income to contribute. Having someone else in the house would mean that I could at least make sure all the bills were paid on time, and try to catch up on the ones that were behind. At this point, I had skipped my first house payment and car payment, so I was beginning to feel the sting. “Well, I guess a few weeks can’t hurt. We see you all the time anyway.” I told her.
BREAK: The above situation should be noted by everyone. This is how lesbians move in on you! They are so slick with it. This entire thing happened so quickly that I didn’t even realize what was happening until it was done.
Needless to say, a few weeks turned into months; nine months, to be exact. OK, I’m going to leave you all there, but there is more to this story, so please stay tuned. Still to come:
- Emergency 911
- The Red Shoes
